It's a nice day for a White Wedding....

So there we go...the day has come...and its just a matter of hours until the actual event takes place...well, ok...ill have one more extra hour to sleep due to the winter time change to which im thankful for...

oh...and no no no...its not MY wedding we are talking about, no panic :))
a friend of mine is getting married, and since we are/were kinda close, i just wanted to sort of commemorate it...and its also like an excuse for my absence in posting here too...so i better post something than nothing, right?
and honestly, its this card that had me inspired and i thought it would be VERY appropriate to post it today than any other day...if you are about to say that my OWN wedding would be more appropriate...well, i dont have the heart to keep this card in darkness till then honestly :P

personally im not a wedding fan...but its nice to attend some...the one that is about to come is still something i cant categorize unfortunately, and i dont feel like im going to a wedding at all nor that something important is happening...but i wont go into details...at least not in public coz it wont really be fair

why i dont like weddings? i dont know...im just not that kind of a social type of a person (im a complicated type of a person in case you hadnt figured out by now)...i dont like all that fuss revolving around the weddings and i most of all dont like the *i have nothing to wear* moment...which stroke me big time this time...and all that with the thanks to my awful eating habits lately, since ive come to the conclusion that nothing fits me...and i just feel ridiculous in whatever i wear...my only attempt to do something about it was to refrain from chocolate and sweets and stuff....for the past 3 days...a real sacrifice, no? and my body is craving for some cake, so i guess once the wedding is over, ill get my dosage with a less feeling of guilt...

and speaking of the card...those thoughts perfectly describe ME! i cant explain it in short terms, but how i judge things is often totally different from what my common sense tells me to do...and i often follow the 'my own judgment' than the 'common sense' thing...whether its a right or wrong thing to do, i dont know...but thats how i do it...and with no intention to actually switch to 'common sense'....oh well...maybe someday...one day....maybe :)

my biggest thank you goes to Chris for sending me this card...first of all for the reasons why he sent it to me, and second, for actually giving me a material to make today's post and for sending me such a handy and convenient card for this occasion :)
oh, and one more thing...its Chris to blame, why i have developed a soft spot for the Anne Taintor cards and why they are on my wish list now...yeah Chris, its your fault, shame on you! :))))

well...in order not to blame me that i totally rant of other stuff, here are the stamps from the card..

and...Marija dear...i wish this day to be the most memorable one for you and i hope you have a life full of joy and love and happiness...and we are sorry that we wont be able to attend the ceremony from the beginning, but we hope you understand (and you know who we all are...sorry! =[....)

20th May.....the day that wasnt meant to be =(

Well, here i am....and instead of catching my bus to Belgrade, im going nowhere....unfortunately...hence my mood in the past days...if that can be called a mood at all.....this is the day ive been anxiously anticipating for months, or better said since last September when it was announced that Depeche Mode are gonna be touring again...this is the day that I dreaded since the very same day...and unfortunately, the day i wont have a chance to fulfill my dream....simply, the concert was cancelled...along with a number of others...the real shock was when i read that the concert in Athens had to be cancelled at the very last minute, before the guys actually went on stage....thats when the ghosts and the shadows started haunting me, giving me some bad sign...then it was Istanbul that was cancelled...and then, it was four others...Bucharest, Sofia, Belgrade and Zagreb....when i read this i was totally lost...i wanted to cry, but i couldnt....i just felt totally down and bummed out and just totally empty on the inside...I know to many it sounds as if im making a drama over nothing...but to me, Depeche Mode are not just my all time favourite band...their real impact is far beyond that...there is an emotional  connection i would never be able to explain...with their music i had managed to get through many of my hard times...with their music, i was able to face and live my own feelings and fears and joys and doubts...with their music i had often been able to give my feelings a meaning...you know, when you feel a certain way, but you cant find the right words to express it? well, Mr. Martin L. Gore has written it all down for me...their power on stage is one of the most amazing things ive seen and felt...and i have to say ive been lucky to actually experience it...3 years ago...regardless how pathetic it sounds, thats the best event thats has happened to my life, EVER!  Depeche Mode are an inherited part of me....and thats why all this is feeling so hard on me...its like a dream being broken into thousands of tiny little pieces....

Im really sorry im bothering you all with this....but i really need to commemorate this day to myself in any way...coz today is when i actually start to realize what has actually happened (its like a post-shock state).
 I even planned to stay in Belgrade by the end of the week, since my manager gave me two days off to go to the concert, and then was the weekend and just a perfect way to spend some time in the city i love so much...there was even the plan to meet with some of the Serbian postcrossers, but they will have to do without me this time :) The problem is, i dont know the right way to grieve all this...and i just still feel its chocking me on the inside...the worst part is that, I and all the rest of the DM fans, have no idea how the condition of Dave Gahan is right now..everyone is extremely worried, coz no news at all is actually WORSE than any sort of situation update...that gives a lots of room for opening rumourss and speculations and right now the official Depeche Mode message board is a place of insanity, with people's attitudes ranging from anger to fear to total impatience...and its getting worse and worse...unfortunately, im into that category too....the lack of news is killing me...not about further cancellations or the reschedule of the Belgrade concert...the fact that no one knows how Dave is doing is whats bringing loads of drama, and of course, the fact that many people have booked train/plane tickets, hotels etc. and now it all may be for nothing...its a real real chaos...but i just want so suppress my selfish attitude of *I* didnt go to the concert...this is not about me anymore...its about Dave and Depeche Mode...and all my thoughts and prayers for the best possible outcome regarding all this...I just wish it didnt feel THIS sad =|




Get better soon Dave....our hearts and thoughts are with you! I REALLY want to do the "NLMDA" wave at least once more in my life :)
Cheers to all the Depeche Mode fans out there, to all the soul sisters and soul brothers and any DM fans who happen to come across this post.

In The Loving Memory of Edi

Today wont be a regular update but more of one of those posts regarding some occasion...and im dedicating this post to my beloved dog i used to have years ago....coz today it would have been his birthday...he would have turned 16...the sweet sixteen...which feel bitter and sour...coz i terribly terribly miss him.

 

No wonder why i was so delighted and emotionally moved when i received this card not so long ago...even though i think of Edi every now and then, this card brought back a whirlpool of memories.

I got Edi when i was nearly 13 years old, as a present from our next door neighbours who also had a dog called Ares...and Ares was my best friend when i was little coz he constantly played with me, and i was one of those kids who had no fear of dogs but who even dared to taunt him and annoy him (in a nice way) and Ares never got bothered or harmed me in any sort of a way....and due to my love towards him and my love towards animals in general, our neighbours decided to give me one of his puppies...you could never precisely imagine how i felt back then nor how my reaction was...it is all blurry for me as well, but i know that i was simply overjoyed.

I named him Edi, coz he had to be named with a name starting with the 5th letter from the alphabet...I wanted to call him Erik, but Erik had already been taken, so i went for Edi...

Edi was one of the most loving dogs ive seen....maybe too loving coz he could befriend anyone easily and thats no good when dogs are in question...i dont say that he should have been dangerous and harmful, but he did need some more discipline regarding interaction with other people...well, he needed discipline in general, he was just too playful.

Problem is, i was a bit reckless with him and i didnt really treasure the fact i had him (and here comes the rule that you are never aware of what you have until you lose that). I loved playing with him and all, but i didnt really take much care of him when it came to making him a meal or taking him out for a walk or stuff like that....thats one of the things i really regret, coz if i had him now, he would have been my best companion for a walk at times i need one and i just want to be alone but yet have someone with me...like right now for example...

Unfortunately, i didnt have him for long....it was 9th November 1995 at around 1:30 pm when someone took him away...i never found out who...i was at home when that happened...i heard the front door open and i thought it was the postman (see the irony here?) so of course i didnt really react, but i just waited for him to ring the bell or drop the mail...after several minutes realized it wasnt the postman and i got this bad itch inside my stomach...i ran out, just to see the front door left open...with Edi nowhere in sight...thats how it ended...the fact i didnt react on time is something i will balme myself for the rest of my life...but regrets dont work...if i ever have another dog i would like to be no other kind but a Rough Collie...also known as a Shetland dog...or the most popular, a Lassie...

  as an addition, i found this old card recently while i was cleaning my room....i found it under the bed...you just dont want to know what all kind of stuff i found under my bed...and i had totally forgotten this one, and the only reason why i had bought it is coz of the dog...this was back in time when all kinds of postcards could have been found here...nowadays there are NONE like this...

And here is Edi..this is probably my most favourite picture of him...coz he stood still while i was taking this photo even though i know he was annoyed with those glasses on him...but he was a poser sometimes...and i loved him for that...and for enduring my nonsense esp. at times i was bored...

and here below are some more pics related to Edi's father, Ares...when i was little my mum simply constantly took photos of me and of what i did...half of the pictures i have in general, include a dog or a cat in them...surprises you?! :)

 

The cat on the following two pictures was also my neighbours' and when she had kittens, Ares was the one who looked after them and who was carrying them around....I was amazed

 

 

this is Ares, and me.....and my mum

  

another one in our backyard... 

  

the only point about this photo is the thing im holding in my hands...i was visiting my ganrdparents (on the picture) at this place they were staying on vacation and on our way there at one place i found a postcard with a Lassie...i wasnt just thrilled and happy...i was the most proud kid in the world then....you can see it from my face and how im showing off the card....just please, no comments on my hairstyle :P

 

I dont know if Edi is still alive or is peacefully sleeping in Heaven....i just hope that he had a good life and wasnt ill-treated.....I hope he knows i awfully miss him ;-(