R.I.P Foxy dearest (26.05.2009 - 16.11.2013)

when last time I said I may not be in the frame of mind to post for a while...I certainly didnt't foresee this coming...yeah, the events I was referring to did turn out the worst way...but the actual shock came a few days later...on something I couldn't even have imagine...my dearest Foxy the cat is no longer among us...and I can not possibly find the words to describe how heartbroken I feel ;-( Sorry if this may be a yada-dada post, but I've written about so many things here and commemorated events and all, that I just can't go on without doing a post for him on one of the saddest occasions...and I already did a post about him here...and I have a few cat cards with cats that look like him...so I found them somewhat appropriate for today

And it all happened so soon and so out of nowhere...I mean, Kimi is ill (feline leukemia), and has been on daily therapy for almost two years...he can't be cured, but the therapy is keeping him alive...and if it comes to Kimi, aside from being ill, he is also twice older...so subconsciously Im somewhat more prepared that something may go wrong with him...not that I am REALLY prepared, one never is for that, one always has hopes until the last moment...but you know what I mean...
But no, I still can't accept it that it happened to Foxy...and I don't know what actually happened...he was missing for a day...and the next morning I found him in one corner, all quiet, as if something hurting him...my first thought was that he has been hit by a car or something, by the way he could barely walk...took him to the vet later that day, turns out he had some internal bleeding and his bladder was dysfunctional so he has been retaining everything inside for a few days...with a temperature lower for 3 degrees that the minimum one...but after giving him the treatment, the vet said he'd be ok, and to bring him the next day for some additional therapy and all...unfortunately, he didn't get to see the light of the next day...it was a shocker to me...still is....and it is still a mystery to me WHAT has actually happened...whether he has really been hit by something..whether he actually had kidney failure as a result to the internal bleeding...I really really dont know...all I know is that I just cant forgive myself for not being able to spot some signs earlier...and why wasnt he meowing the unusual way...cats usually should do that...Foxy was so apathetic...I lay in bed, and put him on my chest, and he was staying so still...coz he was actually getting ready to die *sigh*...and he died just next to my bed..not the most pleasant thing to wake up to...and the immediate reaction was to go back to sleep...as if what you have just realized is nothing but a bad dream...but unfortunately, it wasnt...it was a bad reality =/

Ive lost pets before...but never hurt like this...coz Foxy was so different and so special...a cat with a character...the one who would never sit still, the one who loved opening doors, who could never have enough food to eat, who loved jumping at you out of nowhere to bite your leg, who loved laying in ambush and jumping at you...the cat who knew what to do when you'd tell him 'sit down'....yeah, that was Foxy...made all our days so fun...that all who knew him, are gonna terribly miss that
But I guess those whom I care for so much, decided to leave me together...be it a cat or a man who has so much gotten under your skin...they just decide to leave (and thats a third failure of the year, but this one hurts the most coz it has been the most meaningful one...and you cant help it but start wondering why it always has to end that way? why cant it just for once go nice and last? Something Ill never get an answer to...

I really would like to think of him as taking a nap somewhere...he just didn't deserve to die...not so soon, not this way...he cant even possibly imagine how much he will be missed...and how empty it feels without him =/

After this, I think I will give up on collecting cat cards...at least for a long while...I unliked everything cat-related on Facebook as well...some people have told me to get another one, just like him...but there is NO cat like him...and no, I can't go through this again...I still have Kimi, and his day will come eventually...it is more than I could bear already
And Kimi is all alone now..yeah, there is no one to tease him and chase him and fight him...but Foxy so much protected him from other cats as well, despite being twice younger..

And sorry for the spirit of the post today...but as you know, on such occasions, this is the place which helps me at least a bit to cope with things by getting them out of the system..cos crying for three days and not being able to sleep nor eat, certainly hasn't helped much...

here is one of the Foxy pictures I so much love...he is just so adorable and as someone said, has such a warm face =[

Foxy

I received this card exactly one year ago.....it took me some time later to actually figure out what a portent it was...and this was my first received card with a cat which looked like this...all my other cat-cards were in general cats which looked like Kimi...but anyways, here is how the story goes....

I was getting ready for work, and mail arrived and among it was this card....cute.
I go to work (by bike) and not far from home I hear some meowing which catches my attention in an odd way that it makes me stop, wanting to see what's going on. And i see this woman standing near the bushes, and IN the bushes this small orange kitten, with its hysteric meowing and aggressive hissing. My guess is that it was this woman indeed who had left him there, so that someone can pick him up, but of course, she wouldnt have admit it.
I am a cat and dog lover, but what happened here was something i cant really explain...there was some force which kept dragging me towards this kitten...and then there was this woman which kept telling me to take it....which i couldnt...first of all I was already late for work, so there was no way I take the kitten, go home and go to work..not to mention the bare fact itself for taking another cat home...i didnt want to leave the kitten there but after some reasonable thinking I decided that i just CANT take him....and got back on my bike....and after a few metres, turned my handlebars the other way and came back...for whatever reason it was, i just COULDNT leave the kitten there...I couldnt wait to get back from work in order to take him coz the chances for him to still be there were almost impossible...I had to take him THEN and THERE...I knew it was a crazy decision, but the thought of leaving him there was heart-breaking....and the next I know is this woman picking him up, putting him in a plastic bag, and giving it to me....no turning back...no way to go home, since im LATE for work....so I just head straight to work, with a kitten in a plastic bag, who couldnt stop hissing....i dont think i have seen a more aggressive cat ever....by just pointing a finger towards him, he would immediately attack...it was even scary honestly, but I couldnt just leave him NOW on the street...and I didnt even want to think what would happen with me bringing a kitten like this at work.
Of course, when the children saw him, it was pure joy and all my attempts to have a normal class failed....everyone wanted to see what the kitten was doing (we had to put him in the bin....that was the only place from where he couldnt get out...otherwise, as aggressive as he was, I risked someone from the children getting hurt or scratched all over).
Well, the class eventually came to an end, if you could call that a class...and now it was time to go home and of course face with another problem or risk being kicked out of home along with both cats.
Kimi was FAR from happy when he saw the new buddy, and it took months actually before he gave in eventually.
You can just imagine my parents' reaction...and my excuse was that I just couldnt leave him like that, and that I need to give him something to eat and eventually I will let him go....well giving him to eat was also impossible, coz we just couldnt come near him....so I had to use these thick gloves my mum has and which she uses for gardening....that was like the only thing which could protect us from him...
I dont know if it was because he started feeling safe, and had something to eat...but his aggression lasted for a few hours only...by evening time, he was so timid, I couldnt believe it was the same kitten I found in the morning.
Of course, the issue of letting him go remained, and my dad was the most persistent one about it, and i can freely say he couldnt stand him and had this reprimanding approach all the time, about how it is not fair towards Kimi and blah blah blah...yeah, Kimi is well-known for his anti-social behaviour so I wasnt surprised and I felt bad with the fact that he would go away and wont come home all day long...but on the other hand i REALLY didnt have the heart to have the other one let go...not after how timid and sweet he got...I know that deep inside myself i was convinced he would remain, back in those several days, it was a really troublesome issue..
I kept finding excuses all the time...how I cant leave him in the the middle of the night since he is too little...and I cant leave him during the day since other people will see me and of course, either bring it back to me or turn me in to some  of the Animal-Protection societies...and eventually my excuse was that I cant let him go now that he has been with us for a week or two...and he remained...and i am more than glad and happy he did...I am more than happy and glad that I decided to take him in the first place, that i decided to listen to that inner voice and go against my common sense...
Foxy (my mum gave him the name, since he is orange and crafty like a fox) is one of the most adorable creatures ive seen...and smartest as well. He is the kind of a cat which NEEDS human company, wants to cuddle...he is soo playful...sometimes too much...he always wants to tease the other cats....he knows how to open doors (I dont know how cats figure out the thing about doors)...and one thing I LOVE about Foxy is that when I tell him "sit down" he sits down :))

And Foxy is the exact kind of a cat as the one on the card which arrived that morning before I went to work...when I realized this some days later, i got shivers all-over....even though i refuse sometimes to see things like that, the card wanted to tell me something, to prepare me for something that was about to happen and which would in a way, change my life.

From this point if view, I would have never forgiven myself i I didnt take him with me, on this day, exactly one year ago....boy, time flies so fast :)

Later, I got this card too....since it reminded Ana of Kimi and Foxy together :)

Their relation today is muuuuuuuchh better than it was at the beginning...well Foxy always loved Kimi, but Kimi didnt love Foxy...I still think that Kimi is not so fond of Foxy (well Kimi is not fond of anyone actually), but at least he doesnt run away now, when Foxy comes to him, and cuddles into him, and falls asleep like that...when I see them like that, i just simply melt :)

this is Foxy during his first days with us:

this is him today

oh yeah, I forgot to say....he is ALWAYS hungry :)

sorry for this loooongish cheesy post....but i had to give some significance to this day, coz i absolutely adore my two cats, which are different as day and night :)

Ill be back with the regular postings from tomorrow on.